5 Pinball Games To Play (If You Don't Know Shit About Pinball)

Somewhere around July, I felt a little lost inside my own worlds, so thought I'd grab my virtual cane and trek out to new horizons and challenges and downloaded a little gem named Pinball FX2 for the Xbox. Grizzled and scarred by decades of battling digitized warthogs, vague lizard kings, and the evil corporation/politician/rogue/army of the month, I found myself becoming fascinated by the pick up and play factor of pinball for the first time in my life. No hour long tutorials on how to shoot a gun or jump onto a roof here. Press start and, hell to the yes, we are playing! As I age, I realize more clearly that I don't always have 100 hours to become king of the wastelands or dragon master supreme, so the silverball is perfect for me. Before I knew what just happened, I'd purchased everything Zen and Farsight Studios have ever released pinball wise and never looked back. One lonely bored day and six months later, I run a daily Instagram page featuring a pinball machine,playfield, and flyer (@apinballaday) and actively seek out tables in any area I may be visiting.

SO. MUCH. FUN.

Ever wanted to give it an honest go at pinball but don't know what games out there won't make your eyes cross trying to learn them? Allow me to slap on my Quester hat for a moment and share what I believe are the best 5 tables to begin your new hobby/obsession with. Keep in mind, I'm still a newbie myself, so if a pro sees this and blows his/her stack because I said the UFO is an easier shot than the boxer, my bad.

High Speed, 1986, Williams
Based on the true story of a car chase involving designer Steve Ritchie and his Porsche 928, this table is heralded along with a few others like PIN*BOT for igniting a new fire under the pinball world. What makes it a tremendous beginner table is the ease with which the playfield can be read. From an early age, traffic lights are ingrained into our psyche, so darting your eyes around to see what targets are lit is now replaced by a natural reflex that meshes perfectly with how unbelievably damned fast High Speed can get. The moment you nail your first escape is the moment your next few dollars of quarters become spoken for.

Monster Bash, 1998, Williams
Designed by George Gomez, who still does his thing with the newer Transformers and Avengers tables, Monster Bash is a Universal Monster fan's dream come to flippered life. Seeing what needs to be shot and when couldn't be more simple as every monster has their own section of the table clearly laid out before your first plunge. The music stays with you hours later and it is just as much an experience as a pinball game. From banging into Dracula to The Creature's excuses for why he can't be bothered to jam at the moment, Monster Bash is one you'll be daydreaming about until the next time you make it to the arcade.

Attack From Mars, 1995, Bally
Brought to life by Brian Eddy, Attack From Mars is one of the more universally acclaimed tables in existence and with good reason. The center shot to nail the UFO is more forgiving than other games with larger center targets (ex: Champion's Pub, Medieval Madness) and the game outright screaming what to do next at times makes this classic another wonderful place to start. For newer fans, blowing up Mars for the first time is just as exciting as a veteran "Ruling The Universe" which puts Attack From Mars on the list for the fun factor alone.

Cirqus Voltaire, 1997, Bally
The end result of the team of John Popadiuk and Cameron Silver, Cirqus Voltaire is one of those wild rides that no two people play the same way. Tons of options that are easily accessible and a memorable playfield filled with gimmicks galore make this game a no-brainer for beginners as the attractiveness alone will pull you in no matter what. The entire time on Cirqus I know I'm playing pinball, but the experience feels so fresh that it gives an aura of something entirely new. My only advice is to keep your eyes on the ball as the beauty of the table is legitly distracting.

PIN*BOT, 1986, Williams
We all know what the solar system and what different colors look like, therefore, we can play PIN*BOT with no issues! Unbelievably basic to learn, yet a pain in ten asses to master, the design of the awesomely named Python Anghelo and Barry Oursler has been breaking casual pinballers in for years. The sequels, Bride of PIN*BOT and JACK*BOT are just as fantastic making any of these a find worth chucking a few quarters into. There aren't a gazillion ramps and shots to make here to advance, so if the other tables you play feel too much like a college course to figure out, all hail PIN*BOT.

Tables That Look Amazing (But Will Fuck You Up Like They Hate Your Guts)

Bram Stoker's Dracula - Don't. Just don't. You're just going to walk around looking confused after the massacre. Don't. Do. Not.

Gorgar - Hard to pass up, but there are farts with more staying power than 3 balls of Gorgar. For a super fun game, hold your breath and play. Trust me, you'll drain out way before you black out.

Centaur - Also impossible not to try due to the gorgeous art, but settle for staring at the pretty lights, because this one is as brutal as a New Year's hangover.

(pictures courtesy of ipdb.org)